Thursday, August 03, 2006

Tis a Good Time to Review Some Things

It’s been a while since I reviewed anything, so I am going to make this a review post.

Kellogs released a new breakfast bar called “Go-Tarts”. It’s an on the go Pop-Tart. I had my first one about five minutes ago, and could go without having one ever again. Are Pop-Tarts not “on the go” enough? I mean I know its hard to unwrap that silver stuff they package them in, its slightly harder to tear than tin foil, and then proceed to eat the Tart. You could do this anywhere! Also the Tart is very versatile, you can heat it up in the toaster, the microwave, the toaster oven, the oven, or you could just eat it as is out of the wrapper. Also everyone knows the best part of the Tart is the frosting. Have you ever had one of those Tarts without frosting, yeah they are unbearable. The Go-Tart has a serious lack of frosting and way too much of that crust stuff. Add that on to the fact that there is simply not enough filling and you have yourself a pretty crappy breakfast bar.

Official Palmercat Score: 3/∞

Now let’s move on to movies, I finally saw Pirates of the Caribbean 2 last weekend and I think this is a good place to review Footloose.

I was getting in bed last and the Palmercat Gal had fallen sleep to none other than the 80’s classic Footloose. I remember watching the movie as a kid and thinking that Kevin Bacon’s character was so cool. I watch the movie now, and he was clearly gay. The reason that this is a classic 80’s movie is that if it came out today, no one would go see it. Even if they updated the filming the story is terrible, dancing is really not outlawed anywhere, and no one wants to see a movie about dancing anymore. (Step Up is going to absolutely bomb, I promise.) The movie does have some redeeming qualities, If you know the Palmercat you know that he is a sucker for montages, and this movie is not short on them at all.

Thinking back now I don’t think there is any difference between the montage in Footloose where Bacon is looking back on all that has gone wrong and start frolicking around an abandoned warehouse (where there is a mysterious illegal poetry library and some train tracks) and the montage in Rocky 4 when Rocky goes speeding off into the night after Apollo dies and he gets into a fight with Adrienne. No difference, except for all the frolicking.

However there is an absolutely classic laugh out loud, this is so ridiculous, montage. After the kids get the ok to have the dance in the basement, it cuts to a scene of Bacon riding a dirt bike, and then his 2 friends come in from the side and join him on his ride. The very next shot they all have girls on the back of their bikes. Next thing you know there’s like 20 of them all on dirt bikes heading out to decorate for the dance. This scene is topped off by the gay sand bag tossing from person to person to cover 10 feet of space and then Ariel switching on the lights and mass hysteria ensues over the fact that they decorated a warehouse basement for a dance. Simply classic.

Also I bet you can’t name a more famous movie with more B-list actors as leads. Bacon, Sara Jessica Parker, Chris Penn, Dianne Wiest, John Lithgow, Lori Singer.

Official Palmercat Score: 7/10


At 11:10 AM, Anonymous Boles said...

First, I want to tell you that I agree with most of your ideas about PopTarts (Original), they are indeed less scrumptious when heated in the microwave.

Second, I have never seen Footloose and am now a little sad about it.

At 12:12 PM, Blogger Yarsh said...

I need a hero *CRASH*
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero *CRASH*
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

At 1:15 PM, Blogger John Doom said...

Poptarts will explode if you microwave them for too long.
So will Everlasting Gobstoppers!

Now if you'll excuse me I have to fly to Russia to montage train.

At 10:06 AM, Blogger Bobby said...

You are not a Jedi yet. If youre going to bring up the 80s I can easily think of 2 better must see 80s movies w/stars and a great B list...Fast Times at Ridgemont High (w/Sean Penn) and The Breakfast Club (w/Billy the Kid). Back in the day, shortly after my conversion, i still went to clubs, but for a different reason - to laugh at drunks dancing. it really is some good clean fun. But if you really want a bad 80s dancing movie check out Flashdance. P.S. long as its straweberry they are perhaps nature's most perfect food.

At 10:08 AM, Blogger Bobby said...

yea, i know how to spell strawberry...straweberry...its British i think.


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