Friday, July 21, 2006

Enjoy You "Fortune" Cookie

Last night I had some Chinese food with my brother. It was a good meal, Jade Palace usually is, once we got our bill it was time to distribute the fortune cookies. Fortune cookies are called that because they contain a small piece of paper inside the cookie that has a short fortune for you. Over the past couple of years, the world has become more and more “PC” about what is written and just handed out. This has affected the fortune cookie world.

I open my fortune cookie last night and here is what I read:

“Be a good sport and you can’t fail!”

What!!?? How in the hell is that a fortune? You are telling me that we have become so “pc” insane that a fortune cookie is now just a saying. What happened to the good old days where your cookie said things like, “someone has a crush on you and will reveal it soon” or “you will be coming into some money soon” or even “don’t cross the street tomorrow or you will be hit by a van”. (I made that last one up, but I think clearly it would be the best fortune cookie ever.)

I guess my real problem is that we continue to call these things fortune cookies. If the waiter had said, “would you like your saying cookie?” I could have said no, and gone on with my night. But he didn’t, he delivered the fortune cookie with no warning that I was about to read something like “100 pennies = a dollar. Lucky numbers: 1, 11, 111.” I was not warned and wasted time reading the stupid thing and now I am wasting everyone’s time by writing about the stupid thing! All I want is to get a fortune cookie that actually has a stupid fortune in it.

I could write about this some more but it is time to leave work… See you later.


At 7:07 PM, Blogger John Doom said...

Shitty cookie, great post, even better brother!

That man can come up with some of the most clever one-lined quips known to man. Had me in stiches last night.


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