Throw me the motherboard I'm open!

As promised (the last thing I would ever want to do is lie to the people who spend time reading my crap….. beautiful writings) here are some more entertaining moments from this past weekend.

The wedding party was a rare scene to see. This was the first wedding I had been to or been a part of where all the groomsmen were either married or in a relationship and some bridesmaids were single. Normally it is the other way around. After all, one of the jobs of the groom is to try and hook up one of his desperate friends with one of the hot lonely bridesmaids. This did not happen, and the rehearsal dinner was hilarious. Here is an excerpt from one conversation:

Me: So, are you guys (girls) excited to dance tomorrow night?

Bridesmaids 1, 2, 3: NO!

Bridesmaid #1: Were single, this sucks!

Bridesmaid #2: I don’t think I can handle this!

Bridesmaid #3: (sat silent staring at her plate, echoing the cries of her friends in her head.)

It’s funny to sit at a table surrounded by beautiful single girls, and they were, and hear them complain about being single. Every ……. most girls should know that they are only single by choice. If they want a boyfriend they could have one, especially these three. Men are the most insecure creatures that walk this world, if a pretty girl shows some interest that would be enough to spur us into pursuit, but when a girl who is out of our league, as most are, sits back and wants to be pursued it is going to take a lot of time.

This was also the first wedding I was a part of where I was not surrounded by the “technologically advanced”, it was nice to throw a football around (everywhere we went), Drink beer and smoke pipes, hit a wiffle ball in our hotel room, eat at some dirty restaurant called Loafing Levi’s (named after a dog). I think that every groom should have to select a friend to be a groomsman that fits inside of one of the following categories (people who filled the role during this wedding): Ladies Man (Holtz), Musically Talented (Tim #1), Jackass (Me), Coolest (Keith), Band Mate (Eric), “Who’s That Guy” (Tim #2). Scotty did a great job of following this model to a T, and that what probably made this weekend so much fun.

Finally this brings us to our motel rooms. The groomsmen stayed at motel about 5 minutes away from the lodge where the bride, bridesmaids, and everyone else stayed at. (That tradition of not seeing the bride before the wedding is why we stayed at the motel.) We walk into the first room; it was as if everyone who had stayed there for the last 25 years had smoked a carton of cigarettes in the room with the windows closed. The carpet was light brown, the walls were probably once white, and the window shades were light blue. We went upstairs to our other room and swing the door expecting the same, but got the most wonderful surprise. Blue walls with random fish paintings, the bed sheets were ocean styled, and above the beds was a fishing net with a couple of stuffed crabs and fish inside of it. Apparently they have a theme for every room. Upstairs was the ocean theme and downstairs was the ashtray theme, or as Scotty called it, the ass-tray theme.

Like I said before it was a great time up in Pinetop Arizona and I am grateful to Scotty and Bre for letting me be a part of their special day. I also want to give a shout out to B.A.B. for doing a great job during the wedding.