Friday, June 03, 2005

Women, Irrational?

I can’t resist the urge to write about irrational women any longer. I openly admit that this IS a complete generalization, however seemingly true more times than not. I also must add that the Palmercat Gal (my new name for my girlfriend) does not fall into this generalization for the simple fact that she is way too nice, and therefore generally doesn’t throw out unwarranted comments and is too cautious to do something stupid like the story that follows.

Yesterday as we were driving to lunch a woman flew by us while chatting on her cell phone. My first thought; women + cell phone + driving = bad news. Second thought; women + cell phone + driving + speeding = worse news. Third thought; men + cell phone + driving + speeding = some sort of emergency. (This is where my sarcasm meets my male pride) She was cruising, this is a completely normal thing to do here in Scottsdale, however Scottsdale has implemented cameras on streets that should you be going faster than the city wants, they will take your picture and then make you pay a fine. This is where she got into trouble, woman + cell phone + driving + speeding + photo radar = Fine. (Look mom you were right, life is all math!) And not fine as in I am doing fine, but as in you now owe the city $180. This whole ordeal brought about a loud chorus of cheers from the 4 men driving down the road who saw the freaking huge sign that read (this is where the irrational women part comes into play): SPEED LIMIT 45 M.P.H. PHOTO ENFORCED. I must admit that I had a rather enjoyable time watching her fly by us and then watching the flash from the 7 foot pole with a huge flash camera on top of it. But seriously huge sign + camera pole = slow down! You can speed up right after you pass the section.

Now this entry did not just come from the speeding incident yesterday but more so from an article on page 2 writer Bill Simmons aka The Sports Guy. For anyone who likes sports (likes not loves) needs to read this guys stuff, he is way to funny to pass up. He posted an article that was all emails he received from his readers and responses to them. Here is 1 piece that I got the loudest chuckle out of:

Q: I was watching the final of "The Contender" when my wife made the observation, "Jesse Brinkley is way too hot to be married to that chubby girl." Without even thinking I blurted out, "Well, she probably didn't look like that when they got married." Somehow my wife took that comment to mean that I think she is getting fat. Are all women irrational or is it just my wife?
– JT, River Vale, N.J.

SG: Nope. It's not just your wife. During Monday night's "Miss Universe" telecast, I had the following exchange with the Sports Gal:

Me: Wow, between Miss Venezuela and Miss Peru, I think we need to take our next vacation in South America.

Her: Very funny.
(Ten-second pause where you can hear their wheels turning as they slowly became angry.)

Her: "You know, you're enjoying this show WAY too much. I wish they had these shows with guys."

Me: "Yeah, but there's one difference."

Her: "What's that?"

Me: "I wouldn't watch a Mr. Universe show with you. In fact, I would rather kill myself."
(Five-second pause as they're totally flustered by a flawless, logical statement, followed by the obligatory obscenity.)

When I read this I did not for one second think, wait that is not true, or hey man women....... He was right. Even now as I am finishing this up I can see all my female friends out there reading this going, he’s making a huge generalization and doesn’t even realize it!

If you want to read more of The Sports Guy go to


At 10:11 AM, Blogger Mark said...

You're making a broad generalization about broads. How true, how true.

At 12:58 PM, Blogger Scott Williams said...

When I saw "Palmercat Gal" I thought, gee that's just like the Sports Guy.


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