Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I thought to myself; Self

In my continuing quest to make people laugh I was struggling with I could publish to induce the chuckles that I love so much when I thought to myself; self, what makes me laugh? To which I replied to myself, “Well self, I make myself laugh.” So I think (thus I know I am still alive, or something like that) it is time to unveil a list of my most embarrassing moments. Since I am neither bashful nor easily embarrassed this will undoubtedly be a short list of…….. Well one, I can only think of one time I was thoroughly embarrassed

I was having lunch at a bagel joint in Tempe, a simply wonderful city you truly must visit if you have never been, and I ordered my usual turkey bagel sandwich lightly toasted with provolone cheese. (I can hear John now mmmmmmmm…… toasted) The inside was full so I headed outside to a spare no expense plastic table and chairs covered by a nice little umbrella that never really blocked the sun. I set my food down and emptied my pockets (I was working at a bank and was wearing slacks that day, needless to say very little pocket room to carry keys, wallet, Zack Morris style cell phone, and pack of gum.) Whoever was at the table before I showed up was reading the latest edition of the New Times. I threw my phone on the table and sat down to enjoy my lunch. I was seated just outside the front door to the bagel entrance.

Just then a couple of pretty girls (that’s sounds kind of creepy) walked up to the lunch joint and looked at me at the table, then looked at each other and started laughing then proceeded into the shop. I immediately thought I had something on my face or shirt or something. I wiped my face with a napkin, clean; I searched my shirt for crumbs, also clean. I then ignorantly thought to myself they must have had an inside joke that was pretty funny. Note to self; any time a girl looks at you and laughs, not an inside joke! I continued with my lunch dismissing what had happened and another girl, also extremely attractive, walks up looks at me sitting at the table and starts giggling. Alright I thought something is definitely not right with this table. I stand up and survey the table, and then I see what was so funny.

When I threw my cell phone on the table it landed directly on the new times that I sat in front of. The New Tomes was opened to the personal ads and across the top, in like size 1.5 million print, were the words MEN SEEKING MEN. It was then that I realized that it looked like I was sitting there making calls to men who were lonely for other men. Needless to say I packed the rest of my lunch and headed back to the break room at work to finish my lunch.

Stories like these are too precious to hold inside, so as son as my lunch was up I had to tell my good friend Barb who then made me tell everyone else that I worked with.

With that said, I am challenging all bloggers to post their most embarrassing moment for their next entry.

Soon I will get back to writing about the things that irk me in this world, like how everyone has an intuitive inability to not follow others.


At 4:15 PM, Blogger Yarsh said...

I don't think I will be posting this on my blog. Instead, I will just tell you here. I'm usually pretty good about suppressing embarassing things, but there is one that I remember.

I was in 4th or 5th grade, at Liberty Elementary School. We were playing basketball - myself, Nayt, Sean, perhaps even Mike. Anyways one of the "bullies" snuck (ask Conan O'Brien if that is a real word) up behind me and depants'd me. Just dropped my shorts to the ground. I quickly pulled them up and chased said bully around the school yard before I just gave up. That day kinda sucked.

Kids can be such shits. I am so going to be the uncle cleaning his guns at MoFo's parents' house when she has a first date...

At 6:29 PM, Blogger John Doom said...

I'll be that dad. Class 3 liscence, auto-shotgun, m15-A4, G36k, MP5... and a few handguns for giggles...

Chris, I tried in my blog, but I'm sorry. I've got nothin'.


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