Wednesday, May 04, 2005

My Wednesdays are your Mondays

Wednesdays, here at palmercat blog, shall now be known as either tidbit day or weekend roundup. We will let the jury decide. Up first is the woman from Georgia who got “cold feet” just days before her wedding. Rather than letting her loving groom know she was a little nervous about the commitment, she took off. I mean TOOK OFF! She jumped in a car and drove to New Mexico, I know what your thinking, and yes there is a New Mexico, and called the Georgia police and faked her own kidnapping. First thing that comes to mind when hearing this situation, talk about bad long term planning. What was she going to do next? Come up with some insane story about how she was able to somehow escape her captors and flee to N.M.? Or that she was taken to N.M. and through a serious of taps on a wall Jorge, the neighbor’s eight year old deaf mute son, came to her rescue. The other thing that makes me chuckle is that all over the news they kept saying that she got “cold feet”, after seeing her picture on the news we all know that “cold feet” clearly was not the cause. As Chris Rock would say, “Whatever happened to crazy?” This woman is obviously crazy. I think far too often when things happen we look for all kinds of reasons why, how come we never just accept the fact that some people are just plain crazy. Even more maddening is the fact that her jilted groom is still willing and wanting to go through with the wedding. Some people just belong together.

Wednesday's pet peeve of the day is people smoking without using their hands. I am not a big fan of smoking in the first place, but I do accept the fact that people get easily addicted to these things, so I see how smoking has survived as long as it has. (Funny how smoking has lasted longer than anyone who has ever done it, only in this sick little world can something kill you and people knowingly continue to partake in it. If I told you that I was going to kill you if you went to the movies tonight, and you knew I was serious, there is no way in hell you’re going to the movies tonight. Yet the government put a label on the box that clearly says that smoking can cause cancer and cancer causes death and yet no one seems to care. Truly baffling.) Now that I have ruined the essence of this paragraph I conclude with this; if you are going to smoke all I ask is that you a) Not blow it in my general direction and b) Use your freaking hands to hold the damn thing when blowing out the smoke. Are you truly so lazy that you cannot use your hands to hold a cigarette for ten seconds, I am tired of seeing this schmo outside my window at work everyday continue to inhale and exhale from his cigarette while it sits on one side of his mouth. Some things just for appearance sake don’t look right; midgets wearing gangster clothes (Verne Troyer), Guys wearing girls pants (50% of high school kids and 100% of “emo” kids), and people smoking without holding their cigarette (weird guy who works in the office above me).

Finally I leave you with this, if your wife ever asks you if a dress makes her look fat (or any question along these lines) the answer is:

No it doesn’t, and I married you not the dress.


At 2:12 PM, Blogger John Doom said...

I hate that guy... Stupid, "hey look, I'm suckin' a schwantz, or wait... is this a cigarette (fag in the UK)" freekin' guy.

At 4:25 PM, Blogger Scott Williams said...

As for the last question, you get the best reaction out of: "No your thighs make you look fat."


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