Y'all ganna make me act a fool

Weddings are funny things, the people involved are usually way too stressed out to enjoy what is going on, and the people who attend are there for free food and to meet someone. (Weddings after all are a great place to meet girls, for the simple fact that single girls who attend are so jealous and lonely that they would give a chance to any male breathing and is capable of talking to them.) I was in a wedding this past weekend and let me say; I had a great time. This was easily the most fun I have had at any wedding. The bride was chill, the groom was…. Excited and everyone involved was enjoying the day. (The brides mom did a ton! This surely helped to calm the bride.)

I have always been a very relaxed guy, I may not have ever been stressed in my life, and I want to be like that on my wedding day. This probably why a lot of people get drunk on their big day, but I am capable of pulling it off sober. I want to enjoy the day, whether its hanging with guys, taking pictures, the ceremony, more pictures, the reception, more pictures, the dances, more pictures, smashing cake on my brides face (Yes I am going to do this and no there is no such thing as a truce when it comes to this.) more pictures, and driving off in our recently vandalized car while some pictures are taken. I want to relax and enjoy this day with my friends and family and hundreds of other people who I have never met but bring me gifts. The problem is that this rarely happens. My sister was surprisingly calm on her day but still rushed, than this weekend came and my boy got it right. Everything they did they enjoyed. It was awesome; it gave me new hope for my day.

Here is a list of some of my favorite moments from the weekend,

Moment #1 of the weekend was the fact that the bride thought I was the funniest guy she had ever met. I have no idea why she thinks this way, but she does, so I figured I would put on a show. And I did. The best part was that the crazier I got the funnier she thought I was. There was a point that I recall thinking to myself: man I am being an idiot right now. Yet at that point the bride hugged me and said, “You’re the freaking funniest person ever, I am so glad you are a part of my wedding.” I thought about looking at the Palmercat Gal, who spent much of the night shaking her head at me, and saying, “Do you like apples?”

Moment #2 was battling for the garder, lined up were probably 20 desperately single guys all fighting for the chance to say, “I caught that lacey thing that was around the bride’s upper thigh, and I wore it on my head!” It went in there over my head, but I jumped and tipped it straight up almost grabbed it and it was poked in the air further by someone’s cane, it fell to the ground I saw my opportunity. I dove (I was in the wedding so I was in a nice tux) with my hands fully reached out, I felt a significant weight upon me, I grabbed it and the wrestling match began. Needless to say I won, and yes I wore it on my head.

Moment #3 was watching white Christian guys dance. I do not for one second think that I can dance. I do find it fun to make a complete fool of myself though. But here’s why white Christian guys dancing is so funny: the easiest way to dance is to bump and grind and get freaky. This is not exactly the most applauded or accepted dance at a wedding dominated by good Christian folk. Some of the guys were undoubtedly thinking, man if I could only hump this girls leg (this is of course what dancing in this generation of hip-hop has become) without anyone looking down on me. Truly an odd scene to be a part of but hilarious to sit back and watch knowing what was going through the guys minds.

Moment #4 sitting on the balcony of our motel room drinking beer, smoking pipe tobacco and talking with guys about….. well what do you think we talked about, sex!

There are a whole lot more funny moments I will share later, but like always this is way too long and will be surprised if anyone reads the entire post.