Tis a Good Time to Review Some Things

It’s been a while since I reviewed anything, so I am going to make this a review post.

Kellogs released a new breakfast bar called “Go-Tarts”. It’s an on the go Pop-Tart. I had my first one about five minutes ago, and could go without having one ever again. Are Pop-Tarts not “on the go” enough? I mean I know its hard to unwrap that silver stuff they package them in, its slightly harder to tear than tin foil, and then proceed to eat the Tart. You could do this anywhere! Also the Tart is very versatile, you can heat it up in the toaster, the microwave, the toaster oven, the oven, or you could just eat it as is out of the wrapper. Also everyone knows the best part of the Tart is the frosting. Have you ever had one of those Tarts without frosting, yeah they are unbearable. The Go-Tart has a serious lack of frosting and way too much of that crust stuff. Add that on to the fact that there is simply not enough filling and you have yourself a pretty crappy breakfast bar.

Official Palmercat Score: 3/∞

Now let’s move on to movies, I finally saw Pirates of the Caribbean 2 last weekend and I think this is a good place to review Footloose.

I was getting in bed last and the Palmercat Gal had fallen sleep to none other than the 80’s classic Footloose. I remember watching the movie as a kid and thinking that Kevin Bacon’s character was so cool. I watch the movie now, and he was clearly gay. The reason that this is a classic 80’s movie is that if it came out today, no one would go see it. Even if they updated the filming the story is terrible, dancing is really not outlawed anywhere, and no one wants to see a movie about dancing anymore. (Step Up is going to absolutely bomb, I promise.) The movie does have some redeeming qualities, If you know the Palmercat you know that he is a sucker for montages, and this movie is not short on them at all.

Thinking back now I don’t think there is any difference between the montage in Footloose where Bacon is looking back on all that has gone wrong and start frolicking around an abandoned warehouse (where there is a mysterious illegal poetry library and some train tracks) and the montage in Rocky 4 when Rocky goes speeding off into the night after Apollo dies and he gets into a fight with Adrienne. No difference, except for all the frolicking.

However there is an absolutely classic laugh out loud, this is so ridiculous, montage. After the kids get the ok to have the dance in the basement, it cuts to a scene of Bacon riding a dirt bike, and then his 2 friends come in from the side and join him on his ride. The very next shot they all have girls on the back of their bikes. Next thing you know there’s like 20 of them all on dirt bikes heading out to decorate for the dance. This scene is topped off by the gay sand bag tossing from person to person to cover 10 feet of space and then Ariel switching on the lights and mass hysteria ensues over the fact that they decorated a warehouse basement for a dance. Simply classic.

Also I bet you can’t name a more famous movie with more B-list actors as leads. Bacon, Sara Jessica Parker, Chris Penn, Dianne Wiest, John Lithgow, Lori Singer.

Official Palmercat Score: 7/10

Are You Ready For Some Futbol?

Four years ago I spent 2 ½ weeks in Europe. Most of my time was spent in Spain, I did go to Morocco for a day and stayed in London for 3. While in Spain I got really sick and had to spend a lot of time in our hotel trying to get better. This illness which we called the “chupacabres”, caused me to watch a lot of tv. This was a problem as I don’t speak Spanish, however I do speak sports. Unfortunately for me the NBA and NFL seasons were over, No one watches Hockey (I actually do), and Europe hates baseball. So I spent weeks watching none other than soccer, or “futbol” if you will.

The first time I flipped on the tube and searched for something either sounding like English or resembling sports, I came across a USCNN channel. While it was in English watching CNN is like watching your sister make out with someone. I would rather just not do it. So I kept on flipping, Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Arabic, Spanish, Fuzz…… I couldn’t win, then “futbol”. I was like well it’s kind of a sport, I guess I can fall asleep to this.

Four matches and 10 hours later I was hooked. I couldn’t get enough soccer. On top of that it was right at the end of the Euro Soccer Championships, and David Beckham, the worlds most famous soccer player, had just been traded (or signed) to Real Madrid, who played just hours from where I was so everyone in the town was going nuts over the signing. Everywhere I looked it was soccer, even on USCNN they wouldn’t stop talking about Beckham going to Real Madrid. For the next couple of weeks I watched soccer, lots and lots of soccer, it was great. By the end of the trip I owned a Beckham English National Team jersey! The my soccer world came crashing down as I boarded a plane to come home. For some reason (I actually know why) America has no desire to watch or support soccer. When I landed why love for soccer died and hid itself never to be found again……..

Until I got off a plane that had just landed Guatemala, I felt soccer rejoin my life when I stepped off the plane. Yeah it helped that we were right in the middle of the World Cup. But all of the people who worked at the airport had Brazil lanyards around their neck to support their 2nd favorite National team. I could feel the excitement rise in me, I could watch soccer again and the people around me would love it and even know more than I did (this is a rare occurrence when it comes to me and sports). I was able to watch most of the rest of the World Cup in Guatemala (mainly because the country shut down for matches, seriously our schedule was based around the cup).

I was able to purchase four jerseys while I was in Guatemala: Guatemala National Team, Brazil National Team, Real Madrid and the new English National team. But this time I was different, I was not going to give up my love for futbol again. It may seem slow (it’s really not), It is low scoring, yeah they flop like fish out of water, but it is extremely entertaining.

I said Beckham was the worlds most famous player, but Ronaldinho is the best! (Click his name and watch in amazement, even soccer haters will give this guy props.)

Also I have chosen Liverpool as my English Premiere team based off an Article by Bill Simmons, I will be ordering their jersey soon and rooting them on next year.